Friday, October 6, 2007 | 3:35pm

The Wound

Lately I have been meditating on Galatians chapter 5. There are some real gems in here, let me share a few with you:

1) It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
2) The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
14) The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
15) If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
16) So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

And my favorite...

22-23) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Much of what I do is teach couples marital skills – communication, conflict resolution, financial, etc. But sometimes, underneath the perpetual conflict is slavery to something God never intended for us to be bound by. Sometimes there is a tragic event that happened in our past, a Wound that was inflicted on us by another person. When we receive that Wound we unconsciously start believing lies about ourselves that enslave us to pain and sin. For example, someone who tried his / her whole life to win the approval of a father or mother but never received it becomes enslaved to the lies that they will never be good enough, that they are unlovable, that they will never be accepted for who they are, and so on. This person may become a workaholic to try to prove their worth, they may abuse drugs, alcohol or engage in sexual behaviors to dull the pain, and they certainly will not be free to love the people around them the way God intended.

In Galatians 5, Paul talks about becoming free from the law and in so doing becoming free to love others and enjoy the fruit of the Spirit. The parallel is that we all need to become free from The Wound that was inflicted on us so many years ago. When that happens, we become completely free not only from the pain but also from the coping mechanism that we used to deal with it. We see life through a completely different lens and perhaps best of all, we enjoy the fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, etc. And I can’t think of anything better for a relationship than that.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 | 10:20am

This has been one of the strangest years of my life. In January I was working at Buckhead Church and loving life with no intentions of ever leaving. Because of a series of unforeseen and God ordained events, by April I had left North Point and Buckhead without any clear direction of where to go next.

The months between April and August were difficult in many ways but God brought me to a place of humility, faith and dependence. I am so thankful for what he did in my life during that time. After a period of brokenness and learning to depend on God in new ways, my wife Sara and I began to talk and pray about doing counseling and marriage ministry full time. No one was more surprised than I was that we were having this conversation - I did not see my life going this direction. But after we made the decision to follow God in this way, I saw God answer so many prayers that there was no doubt that He was the architect of what we were building.

In August I changed the name of my counseling center to The Atlanta Center for Marriages. I decided to follow my heart’s passion of counseling, writing, speaking and partnering with local churches in North Atlanta. Watching couples flounder in their marriages and seeing children live through the pain of their parent’s divorce is my area of holy discontent. If I can spend the rest of my life helping couples experience the joy of fulfilling relationships and avoid the pain of divorce, I will be satisfied.

Since we started this journey of faith God has answered more prayers than I have time to record here. I feel so blessed, humbled and happy to be a part of something God is doing. It is an honor and a privilege when couples or individuals open up to me and share some of the most personal things in their lives. I thank God for what He has done in my life and what He has allowed me to be a part of.

Wednesday, March 5, 2007 | 9:33am